Titles are hard...

I love what is happening.  I feel better, clearer.  I actually forget to eat.  I know that's not good either but it tells me that I am in the zone.  My skin is feeling loose and I am being more careful to remember to take one of the drinks with the collagen in it every day.  I really hope that it helps.  I am so excited to be doing this.  I have bad moments and bad days.  I am trying to break though this 230 but I am sure I am getting there.  The hardest thing is the heat.  I really don't feel like eating heavy protein.  I have found that an egg salad wrap with cucumber slices works.  Make hard boiled eggs.  Let them cool.  Take the shell off and smoosh them up with a fork. I usually use two or if I am really hungry I may use three.  Use about a tablespoon of the Walden farms mayo and mix in chopped green onion, dill, celery salt and salt and pepper to taste.  Wash a few leaves of whatever lettuce.....be adventurous.  Butter lettuce, green leaf or even iceberg works and use the lettuce as your wrap. Yummers.... Pass on any good recipes you find by leaving them as a comment.  I will post them if they are in the rules!  Keep eating on plan, see ya later.

All alone....

My husband and daughter went to the lake for the weekend.  I have work to do and I need to get a massage for a headache that I have had for weeks.  It is harder to stay on track while all alone though.  I am not really sure why.  Maybe I am feeling a smidge lonely....that might be it.  I was hoping to really enjoy this time alone but all I do is sit here and think about food.  It is actually rather tiresome.  I want to eat to live not live to eat but it really seems to be a very ingrained habit.  I want to break this habit.  I want to be healthy.  I want to win this one.  I am stuck again at 230.  It is really aggravating and I will push through it.  Deb won't let me give up.  She promised to help me break through this.  I just wish it was instant...  : ) 

So I'm not perfect

But then again who is.  If I were perfect I wouldn't need support from my friends and family or a diet for that matter.  I wouldn't over emote, I would be able to settle down and do all my work in a timely fashion, I would like my child every minute of every day (I love her no matter what but sometimes she is hard to like) and I wouldn't be struggling with my life.  But I'm not and I am.  Life changing things are hard.  If they weren't everyone would do it and we would all be happy and content in our lives.  There would be no jealousy or pettiness, people would be nice to each other all the time.  That my friends is not the real world.  People are mean.  They can be rude and selfish.  They can be demanding.  I am learning, albeit slowly, to stand up for me.  To ask for what I need to function.  To ask for things that I want and not to be afraid.  If you don't ask, you won't get .  I coming to realize that what I am searching for is self acceptance.  nothing more.....I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and say I love you.  i can do it to my husband.  I can do it for my daughter.  I can do it for my family and my friends.....but I can't do it for myself.   I am going to be less of a doormat.  None of this trying stuff.  I am no longer going to try to do things....I am just gonna get'er done.  When I feel like I can't do that, I am going to look myself in the mirror and say I love you, carry on, this is the right path.  Can't you tell??  I know it is because it feels impossible.  I know that this is just a diet....doesn't mean it can't be the path to self discovery right??  I feel like I am doing well.  My skin is all icky jiggly and soft and squishy so even though I am not seeing the results on my scale, I can feel the results.  I tell myself good job, well done at the end of every day that I stay on track.  I can't wait for my Vegas vacation.